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Sunday, February 28, 2010

@

Hurry up, and feel the sand,
rushing through my veins,
as the waves push them forth,
and the sun begins to fall.

It explodes into a thousand stars,
and the night slips out.
The breeze is silent,
but those waves are loud.

Crashing, crashing all around me,
no idea where I am. No idea where I am.

It only gets darker when the clouds rush in,
smoke fills my lungs, and filters my perception.
Not sure I believe anymore.

Where do I call home?
Where should I call home?
Where do YOU call home?

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

my life thoughts

Boy oh boy. Life. Energy. Spirituality. God. Been doing a lot of thinking lately, and am STILL doing a lot of thinking. What is God? Is Christian God the correct God? Is this all self hypnosis? Where did everything come from?
These questions have unlocked a new joy in me. A freedom. An overwhelming peace. I've been doing my best to just be honest with myself, and with others. My prayers now look like "God, I don't know if you are real. I am in such a confusion right now. Common sense tells me something had to have started the first bit of matter, but a lot of the time I don't feel you. What is happening?". And almost everytime, whenever I pray with just every amount of honesty I have in me, a peace will overcome me. I just feel like being still. A lot of the times I (and even you) will run around in a dusty dirt circle saying things like "God are you real?" or "I don't know if I believe in you", and all the meanwhile we are scooting our feet, and picking up dirt and swirling it in the air. Even if we sit still for a second, there is still all that dust in the air, and we have no idea where we are. I am even stirring a little dirt of my own by writing this post, but I want to encourage my brothers and sisters to calm down. Ask questions, and sit still. I spent so much time asking questions to everyone I could, trying to show I was a deep thinker, or that I was on the verge of figuring things out, or whatever else. I propose we as brothers sit still. Spend a mere 10 minutes as you lay in your bed in the morning praying "God, speak louder than the static I have created on our frequency." and then lay there. I will share some things I have experienced doing this in a later post, but I encourage you to first try it on your own. Even if you think everything in the universe started from nothing.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Thursday, November 5, 2009

book

Just read Donald Miller's To Own a Draggon. I want to read his book Searching For God Knows What next. I've never been much of a reader, but I plan on developing. Slowly. Developing.